


47. Heart

by smiledarnyou



Series: Big Damn Table [4]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, an open tribute to that one sponge in the halloween baking video, food cw, i miss you lil buddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 05:04:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11776080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smiledarnyou/pseuds/smiledarnyou
Summary: A heart sponge would look cute on their sink. Wouldn’t it?It would be so easy to just grab one of the two.It should be so easy.





	47. Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [andrienaline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrienaline/gifts).



> a (super duper belated) birthday present to my bffl ros <3

Phil had meant to add sponges to their grocery delivery order. He even wrote them down on their grocery list in his phone’s notes before they packed their lives away for two and a half months, to ensure they would come back home to a fresh pack. 

Except when they were flying back home, Phil fell asleep halfway through ordering, thumb accidentally pressing for an order of ten salad creams. Dan had to pry the phone out of Phil’s sleepy clenched hand, and finished the order (deleting the salad creams off promptly), only going by a vague memory of what they needed back home. 

The need for sponges had escaped their minds for the first few days of returning home. The jetlag only granted them enough coherence to order takeout after unpacking their suitcases and grocery delivery, leave their dirty utensils in the sink, and take nap and bathroom breaks during marathons of box sets. It wasn’t until Dan went searching for a spoon for a carton of ice cream, only to find their spoon collection was in the sink. He sighed heavily, bending down to open the cupboard underneath the sink to get the fresh pack.

“Phil.”

There was the sound of Scully suddenly cutting off mid-sentence and the ruffle of a makeshift blanket fort crumbling apart, followed by a squeak. “Sorry! I’ll rewind it for you. I’m pausing it right now.”

“No. No, Phil. Where’s the sponges?” Dan closed that cupboard and began looking through the one beside the refrigerator. “Did you put them with the crisps again?” 

“No…?” 

Dan might have looked slightly ridiculous looking through the glasses and plates, but honestly after finding socks on the coffee table, he was never sure where Phil would set things. _Years after living with someone, you would think they knew where common household items would go_. “Well, where are they?”

“I don’t know.” Dan could hear Phil sigh heavily and detangle himself from the sheets “I thought you were the one who put them away.” Not accusing, but questioning. Dan sighed, closing the cabinets and rolling his eyes. He was hungry for ice cream but he wasn’t going to just rinse off a dirty spoon out of desperation. 

“Well I certainly didn’t find them in the grocery bags.” Dan stood on his tiptoes to see if they were up on the cabinets themselves, only to no avail. 

Phil stood in the doorway, hands braced against the sides and eyes wide. “Or.” 

“Or?”

“ _Or_ we just never ordered them.” 

Dan let out an undignified squawk. “What do you mean _we_? You were the one who-”

“You were the one who took over the order, so don’t place this on me, Danny.” 

“Unbelievable.” Dan sighed. He slumped against the counter, heading thumping back against the cabinet. “I can’t believe I was the gentleman here, letting you get some extra rest on the plane, taking over our order that _you_ so willingly volunteered to attend to, and now the blame is placed on _me_?” 

“Yes. Because a _gentleman_ takes a folder full of creepshots of me sleeping on said plane.” 

Dan breaks out into a grin without meaning to. “Creepshots? Please, Philip. I prefer to call them blackmail.” They both shared an indulgent smile, and then in their weird shared connection, frowned. “Alright. So both of us are at fault then.”

Phil opened to mouth to protest, until Dan rose an eyebrow. His mouth fell closed, lips pursing together. “Rock, paper, scissors to see who goes?” Phil offered instead. 

“A round of Mario Kart.” 

Phil snorted.

“Right. Rock, paper, scissors then.” 

One of them would have to go get changed out of their pajamas to face the natural sunlight of London to walk to the convenience store down the street, dark under eyes be damned. There was a carton of ice cream waiting for them in the freezer and they weren’t going to start digging into it with a fork like some animals. Rock, paper, scissors worked to both of their advantage. Neither of them had a predicted pattern of what they choose, it was all just a game of chance (not counting the times when Phil would throw in an all or nothing, last minute). 

But, of course, that also meant Dan was the one dragging his feet to his bedroom, whining the whole way about how comfy he was. 

“Thank you for going to the store Dan!” Phil giggled behind him. Dan shoved a finger in his direction, only making Phil blow a kiss back. “Oh, and while you’re there, can you pick up some Haribo?”

Dan sighed, stripping off his sweatpants. “Regular or sour?”

“Regular. Are those my checkered shorts?”

Dan glanced down. “You have the other half of the pack. This is mine.” Dan looked back up, smiling. “But then again. Really doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

Phil smiled back in kind. “True.” He looked around the room as Dan went digging through his drawer to find a pair of jeans. “Which reminds me. I’m still trying to find my York hoodie.” Dan gave him an exasperated glance over his shoulder, Phil giving him a cheeky grin in return. 

“Would you like to go to the store instead?” 

“No, that’s alright. Just...supervising.” Phil looked on appreciatively, fighting back a laugh as Dan hopped a bit to move the jeans past his calves. 

“Blackmail,” Dan panted, wiggling them up his thighs. “Remember, Lester?” Phil let out a yelp, scurrying away to the living room. He chuckled, shaking his head. 

They were completely ridiculous. 

After buttoning his jeans, and checking in the mirror to make sure there was no traitorous curls threatening to expose themselves on his quick trip, Dan grabbed the keys. “Be back in a few! You can unpause it now.”

“M’kay!” The show resumed and Dan peeked in to see Phil draping the quilt back onto the coffee table. “Watch out for any rabid geese or cyclists.” 

“Right. Can do. Good luck with constructing that mess again.” 

Phil gave him a salute, and Dan smiled on fondly as Phil carefully tucked one side of the quilt into the crease of the couch. Dan pulled himself away from the door, grabbed his earphones off of the shelf and made his way out of the door. 

It was a rather peaceful August afternoon, walking the same street he grew accustomed to over the past few years. The trip to the store was easy, no one coming to stop him for a picture or ask where Phil was or question how their trip back home was. There was no second guessing how he would answer things, overthinking a pose for a picture or self-conscious thoughts. There was just him, the sound of ambulance sirens and car horns, and the bland British summer heat. 

Walking into the convenience store, he made a direct path to the house essentials and was faced with a mild surprise. Normally the store only carried the generic plain packaged sponges, with the regular green rough sides.

Instead, the store carried two different kinds. The plain, and ones with tiny greenish-blue hearts.  
Dan should have just been able to pick up the plain ones and just walk away from the aisle, carry on with his errand. Yet, something was gravitating him. Pulling him. 

A heart sponge would look cute on their sink. Wouldn’t it? 

It would be so easy to just grab one of the two.

It should be so easy.

They were sponges. Common household items. Essential household items. Phil was going to order them. Dan was supposed to order them. If Dan picked up some sponges with printed hearts on them, who was Phil to say anything at all? They shared everything in their home, from fans’ gifts to body wash to clothes. Hell, they shared underwear. If Phil was to say anything, he was going to find that York hoodie himself and hide it under Phil’s bed. 

Yet it wasn’t Phil’s reaction he worried.

He nervously glanced over his shoulders, then stood on his toes to peek over the aisle. The only witness was merely a middle-aged cashier standing by the register, reading a magazine. He stood back down with a heavy sigh. 

The heart sponge would look cute on their sink, with the rest of their knick-knacks in the kitchen. Their figurines sitting on top of the vent, the refrigerator pig from Japan, all making the apartment just their quirky little home. _Their quirky little home_.

He rolled his eyes at himself. He was absolutely revolting.

He grabbed a four pack of the sponges, and began walking to the register when the store’s door opened. A group of teenagers walked in, chatting and giggling. Dan felt his heart drop into his stomach, and he power walked then, maybe asserting too much force into placing the pack on the counter. The cashier looked mildly concerned, but paid no mind. He glanced over his shoulder as the cashier scanned. The teens didn’t seem to recognize him, and they didn’t have their phones in their hands. He took a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing. 

“Are you alright, sir?” the cashier asked hesitantly.

“Oh. Um. Yeah.” His voice kept low, only to avoid the teens going into the crisps aisle. “Just. Really tired.” 

He could only imagine the scenario building in the cashier’s mind. A panicked looking man, tired and buying just a four pack of sponges printed with hearts? What was his story? 

A long one, quite frankly.

The cashier gave his total, and he handed his card over, eyes still on the teens’ backs. “Y’know,” the cashier murmured. “If you want a disguise or something, you should be wearing some dark sunglasses. Or a wig.” 

He froze a bit, his eyes swinging over to her. “I’m sorry?” 

She chuckled, pulling the receipt as it printed. “Your face was all over London, sweetheart. But blond would be quite a lovely look on you I think.”

“Do you...you know who I am?” 

“Oh heavens no. Are you a comedian with that other fellow? Like Dick and Dom?” 

Dan fought an eye roll, but gave a weak smile, feeling relieved that this cashier didn’t have a relative who knew who they were. _Sweetheart, you know those two you watch on the internet? One of them just came to the store and bought some sponges with hearts on them. Just thought I would let you know xoxo_

That would be a hashtag trend to come back home to. 

“Somewhat like that, yeah.” 

“Well, congratulations on making it in London sweetheart. Good luck with all of your endeavors.”

He bowed a little in appreciation, murmuring a sheepish thanks in return, and as soon as she handed over the bag, he nearly began jogging out the door. The plastic bag felt nearly heavy in his hand, weighted and hot. His breathing was careful, cautious. He had no reason to feel anxious. If anyone did stop him, no one would be asking him what he bought. No one would be that invasive, not to his face. He sighed heavily, keeping his pace steady. It was only a five minute walk.

The five minutes seemed to linger twice as long until Dan finally was in the cool air of their apartment. He nearly slumped against the door as soon as he closed and locked it. 

“‘Ello?” Phil called out. “No rabid geese?” 

Dan gave a weak laugh. "Not this go round." He walked up the steps to meet him at the top of the staircase, waving the bag. "Got the goods." Phil walked to meet him down as well, this time wearing his glasses. "No contacts?" 

Phil made a grimace, taking the bag from Dan's hand. "I felt like I was about to go to sleep again."

Dan grinned. "Fall _asleep_? I was only gone for what? Ten minutes?"

"Fifteen minutes, actually." 

"Counting the minutes that I was gone, are we?"

Phil looked over his shoulder, throwing him a dirty look. "The episode only had fifteen minutes left."

" _Right._ " Phil's lips quirked up then, not debating anything further, only to start digging into the store bag. Dan bit his lip, stomach sinking at the smile suddenly disappearing from Phil's face. "Phil?"

Phil sighed. " _Dan._ " 

"Listen, there's nothing to take the piss out of, just-"

"You forgot the Haribo," Phil whined. "I forgot to add that to the list too." 

Dan felt all of the tension melt out of his body and he had to lean into Phil to hold himself up. He pinched Phil on the bum, grinning at the squeak from him. "You absolute _twat_. We're eating ice cream. We can get some gummies tomorrow or something, alright?" 

Phil ruffled his hair. "Fine. Fair deal. But I'm getting the share size pack." 

"Sure you are." He watched as Phil paused to look into the bag again, pulling the pack of sponges out. Dan rested his chin on Phil's shoulder. "Cute, aren't they?" 

Phil hummed, not disagreeing. He looked at Dan with a soft smile, just looking slightly bemused. "Were they out of the regular ones?" Phil asked. 

"Mm. No. Just thought we needed a bit of change from the norm." 

"They are kind of cute." Phil tucked them back into the bag and led them the rest of the way up the stairs. "Just have to be careful." 

"Careful?"

Phil smirked. "We've been editing out more than what we've been keeping in as of late." 

"Ok, right," Dan snorted, following him in the kitchen. "Where are we going to be filming when we would have the sponge in the background?" Phil gestured around him. Baking videos, sure. "We'll just keep it on the other counter. We can make it work. We've made it work before."

Besides. If they did leave it by mistake and were to leave the innocent looking sponge on camera, no one would really hyper-focus on such a minor object. 

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> so after several weeks and nearly a few months of home renovations and job searching, I've finally managed to make this come together! It was a stressful time but it was such a relief to be able to write this and have as much fun as I had with this. 
> 
> the sponge was something I've been talking about for MONTHS (hence the heavy heavy leaning on the fourth wall there) and ros and I are known to be focusing on the minor details that make their home so. I figured this would be a good tribute to my best friend so hey! not only is this for my bffl to enjoy, but for everyone to enjoy as well! feel free to leave a comment, as I would love your feedback! have an amazing day and I hope to be making some more works for you guys sooner than the last go round! <3


End file.
